My Child Was Doing So Well — And Then This Happened
I remember the exact moment it started. My son had been using the potty independently for nearly two months. We had celebrated, donated the last of the nappy bags, and told everyone we knew. And then, one Tuesday morning, he had an accident. Then another. Then three in one day.
My heart sank. Had we done something wrong? Was there something wrong with him? Were we back to square one?
If you are reading this, you have probably been there too — or you are there right now. I want you to take a deep breath, because potty training regression is one of the most common things that happens to toddlers, and it does not mean failure. Not yours, not your child's. It is simply a normal part of the process that nobody warns you about nearly enough.
In this post I am going to walk you through exactly why regression happens, how to recognise the signs, and most importantly, what you can do to get back on track without making the situation worse.
What Is Potty Training Regression?
Potty training regression is when a child who has been successfully using the toilet — sometimes for weeks or even months — starts having accidents again. It can happen gradually, with just the odd wet accident here and there, or it can feel like an overnight reversal where your child seems to have completely forgotten everything they learned.
It is important to understand that regression is not your child being naughty or deliberately difficult. In almost every case, there is an underlying reason — and once you identify it, handling the situation becomes much more manageable.
Why Does Potty Training Regression Happen?
In my experience and from everything I have read and talked about with other parents over the years, regression almost always traces back to one of these causes:
1. A Big Life Change
Toddlers are deeply sensitive to change, even changes that seem positive to us as adults. The arrival of a new baby is probably the most common trigger — suddenly your child is competing for your attention and may unconsciously regress to more "babyish" behaviours as a way of reclaiming some of that closeness with you. But other changes can trigger it too: starting nursery or a new school, moving house, a change in childcare, travel, or even a significant disruption to the daily routine like a parent returning to work.
2. Stress or Anxiety
Even things that seem minor to adults — a new sibling's arrival, tension in the household, a change in their friendship group at nursery — can create significant anxiety for a toddler. When children feel anxious or overwhelmed, they often regress to earlier developmental stages as a form of comfort. Accidents become a way of expressing an emotion they do not yet have the words to articulate.
3. Illness
When a child is unwell — even with something as straightforward as a cold, an ear infection, or a stomach upset — their ability to tune in to their body's signals is reduced. They may simply not notice the urge to go until it is too late. In the case of urinary tract infections (UTIs), children can feel a sudden, urgent need to urinate with very little warning, making accidents almost unavoidable. If regression comes on suddenly and is accompanied by complaints of pain when weeing, unusual frequency, or a fever, always check with your doctor to rule out a UTI or other medical cause.
4. Constipation
This is one that surprises many parents. Constipation in toddlers is incredibly common, and it is closely linked to toileting accidents. When a child is constipated, the build-up of stool in the bowel puts pressure on the bladder, making it harder for them to hold on and increasing the likelihood of wetting accidents. If your child is also having difficulty with bowel movements, is complaining of tummy aches, or goes several days without a poo, constipation may be contributing to the regression.
5. They Are Simply Testing Limits
Around the ages of two and three, many children go through phases of testing boundaries in every area of life — and toileting is no exception. Some children who have been independently using the potty start having accidents simply because they are absorbed in play and do not want to stop to go, or because they are experimenting with control and autonomy. This is developmentally normal and tends to be shorter-lived than regression with a deeper emotional trigger.
6. The Novelty Has Worn Off
In the early weeks of potty training, the sticker charts, the big celebrations, and the novelty of the whole process keep many children highly motivated. Once that initial excitement fades, some children need a fresh boost of motivation to maintain the habit consistently — especially if the reward system has gradually been phased out.
Signs That Your Child Is Experiencing Regression
Regression can look different from child to child. Here are the signs to watch for:
- Daytime wetting accidents after a period of dryness
- Refusing to use the potty or toilet when they previously did so willingly
- Asking for nappies or pull-ups back
- Frequent small accidents rather than fully emptying the bladder — sometimes a sign of holding on too long or a UTI
- Bowel accidents after successful bowel training
- Becoming upset, clingy, or anxious around toilet time
- Seeming unaware of accidents until after they have happened
If you notice several of these together, particularly if they came on suddenly, it is worth thinking about what has changed in your child's world recently — even something that happened a week or two before the regression began.
What NOT to Do When Regression Happens
Before I get to the solutions, I want to talk about the reactions that can accidentally make regression worse — because in those first exhausting days of mopping up accidents, it is very easy to react in ways that backfire.
Do Not React with Anger or Frustration
I know this is easier said than done. When you are on your fifth outfit change of the day and you can see the potty sitting right there unused, it is genuinely hard not to show your frustration. But expressing anger at accidents — even if you immediately feel guilty and apologise — creates anxiety around toileting, which almost always makes regression last longer. Your child is not having accidents at you. They are struggling with something, and they need you to be their safe landing place.
Do Not Shame or Embarrass
Comments like "You're too old for this," "Only babies have accidents," or "Your friends don't do this" feel harmless in the moment but can cause real harm to a child's confidence and create shame around a basic bodily function. Shame does not motivate toddlers — it disconnects them.
Do Not Go Straight Back to Nappies Full Time
Unless your child is deeply distressed and clearly not ready, going back to full-time nappies can confuse the process and prolong the overall training journey. Pull-ups as a temporary bridge can be appropriate in some situations — particularly for night-time or long outings during a difficult phase — but as a general rule, maintaining the expectation of using the toilet during the day is helpful.
Do Not Make Toileting a Power Struggle
If your child is going through a limit-testing phase and they sense that accidents get a big reaction from you, they may continue for longer simply because of the attention and control it gives them. Try to keep your response to accidents calm and matter-of-fact — clean up with minimal fuss, restate the expectation gently, and move on.
What TO Do: How to Handle Potty Training Regression
Here is what I have found works — both from my own experience and from the collective wisdom of parents who have been through this.
1. Stay Calm and Respond Without Drama
Your reaction to accidents sets the emotional tone for the whole process. A calm, neutral response — "Oh, you had an accident. That's okay. Let's get you changed and try the potty next time" — keeps the situation from becoming charged and keeps the lines of communication open.
2. Look for the Underlying Cause
Ask yourself: What has changed? Has there been a big event, a new stress, a change at nursery or home? Has your child been unwell? Are they eating enough fibre and drinking enough water? The sooner you identify the root cause, the sooner you can address it. Sometimes just acknowledging to your child that you know things feel different right now — "I know it's a big change having a new baby in the house. It's okay to feel funny about it" — can help enormously.
3. Go Back to Basics Temporarily
There is no shame in temporarily reintroducing the structures that worked early in training. Bring back scheduled potty trips every 90 minutes to two hours. Sit with your child during potty time rather than sending them alone. Reintroduce verbal reminders before activities, after meals, and before leaving the house. Think of it as a refresher rather than starting from scratch — because it is.
4. Reintroduce Positive Reinforcement
If the sticker charts and small rewards have faded away, now is a good time to bring them back — even if they felt unnecessary a few months ago. A simple reward chart where your child earns a sticker for every successful trip to the toilet can re-engage their motivation quickly. Keep the bar achievable: reward any attempt at the toilet, not just complete successes, while regression is actively happening.
Some parents find that switching up the reward system helps — if stickers have lost their novelty, try a marble jar, a stamp on the hand, or choosing a special book at bedtime after a good day. Small, immediate rewards work best for toddlers because they live very much in the present moment.
5. Address the Underlying Cause Directly
If a new baby is involved: Carve out intentional one-on-one time with your older child every day — even just 15 minutes of play where they are the sole focus. Involve them in baby care in small ways so they feel included rather than replaced. Acknowledge their mixed feelings openly and without judgment.
If starting nursery or a change of setting is the trigger: Talk to the key worker or teacher about the regression so they can support consistent toilet routines during the day. Make sure your child knows exactly who to tell if they need the toilet, and that the adults there will respond kindly.
If constipation is a factor: Increase water intake, add more fruit and fibre-rich foods (pears, prunes, and kiwi fruit are particularly effective), and encourage plenty of movement. In persistent cases, speak to your doctor or health visitor — they can advise on appropriate short-term treatment.
If illness is the cause: Simply wait it out, maintain as much routine as possible, and do not introduce new expectations while your child is unwell. Most children return to their previous level of independence relatively quickly once they are well again.
6. Give Extra Physical Affection and Reassurance
This sounds simple, but it is genuinely powerful. A child who is going through regression is often a child who is feeling unsettled and in need of more connection. Extra cuddles, more time reading together, and more verbal reassurance — "I love you and I know you are going to get the hang of this again" — address the emotional root of the regression in ways that no reward chart can.
7. Keep Your Expectations Realistic
Regression rarely resolves in a day or two. Most episodes last anywhere from one to four weeks. If regression has been going on for six weeks or more without any improvement, or if it is accompanied by significant emotional distress, bedwetting in a previously dry child, or physical symptoms, do discuss it with your GP or health visitor.
When Will It End?
This is the question every exhausted parent wants answered, and I wish I could give you a precise timeline. What I can tell you, from personal experience and from over fifteen years of writing about potty training, is this: it always ends.
With patience, calm consistency, a bit of detective work to find the cause, and a generous helping of grace for both yourself and your child, regression passes. Your child has not forgotten how to use the toilet — they are simply navigating something difficult, and they need you in their corner.
You have been there before. You will get through this too.
A Quick Summary: Handling Potty Training Regression
- Stay calm — your reaction matters more than the accident itself
- Find the cause — change, stress, illness, constipation, or limit-testing
- Go back to basics — scheduled trips, reminders, and structured routines
- Reintroduce rewards — sticker charts, stamps, or a reward jar
- Address the root cause — one-on-one time, diet changes, nursery communication
- Give extra affection — connection is the fastest route back to confidence
- Be patient — most regression resolves within one to four weeks
Have you been through potty training regression with your little one? I would love to hear what helped you in the comments below — your experience might be exactly what another parent needs to read today.
And if you are still in the thick of the initial potty training journey, you might find these posts helpful too:
- Potty Training Boys: 7 Tips That Actually Work
- Best Potty Training Methods & Gear: A Complete Parent's Guide
- Potty Training Tips for Parents: 10 Things That Make It Easier
Written by Baby Potty Training Mommy — a mom sharing real-world potty training advice since 2010. Read more about me here.

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